Going Viral

   

Toot Toot Tootsie, Goodbye!

 If humanity is wiped out from a deadly outbreak of an incurable virus, I’m going to be pretty ticked off. How can a planet full of intelligent life let their civilization be destroyed by something preventable? Only on Earth, ladies and gentlemen.
     It’s not like we didn’t see it coming. For decades, prescient film makers have been preparing us for this science-fiction scenario now unfolding in real time. Just look at the films The Andromeda Strain (1971), Outbreak (1995), Contagion (2011). We know what to expect. And we should know how to prevent it. But nobody is paying attention.
     First we’re told there is no danger of anyone contracting Ebola in the United States. When a patient enters a Texas hospital with symptoms of the deadly virus, we’re told it's an isolated case. Then we’re told about all the people the patient had contact with, including several children. The passengers onboard the airplane traveling with the patient were told not to worry. They told the people trapped in the World Trade Center not to worry either. Exactly when are we going to be told to worry. I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to worry.
     Another U.S. citizen contracted Ebola while working as a freelance cameraman in Africa. He has no idea how he caught the virus since he followed all the safety precautions. And now we’re bringing him home for treatment.
     A number of soldiers are being sent to West Africa to help in humanitarian efforts in the middle of the Ebola hot spot. And they’ll be returning home to U.S. soil as well. I’m all for helping humanity, but I’m not sure this is the best course of action at this time.
     My gut reaction is to seal our country’s borders with the biggest hermetically sealed seal we can find. No one’s getting in until this situation is resolved. Most people can’t even fight the common cold. And fighting this deadly virus is no easy task.
     It may already be too late. Enter the Enterovirus-D68. It’s a new arrival for Fall. And it brought back some old friends with it. Tuberculosis. Whooping Cough. And a real blast from the past, Polio. Hey, long time no see! I’m ready to pack it in and buy a giant plastic bubble. It worked for John Travolta in that movie from the seventies. He looked happy (and his hair looked terrific).
     What happened to the good old days when all we had to worry about was Anthrax, Ricin and the flesh eating virus? Ah, the good old days. I don't know about you, but on my street, I prefer hearing the shouts of children playing in the street as opposed to hearing shouts of “Bring out your dead.”
     The impending Zombie Apocalypse is starting to look better and better everyday. Unlike a contagious virus, at least zombies can be “killed”. I don’t want people in the future to read a new New Testament that begins with the words, “and an uncontrollable deadly mutating virus inherited the earth.” I hope things turn around for the better real soon. I still haven’t gotten my flu shot yet.